ROUGH DRAFT REVISION INTO FINAL PRODUCT

I NEED THIS ROUGH DRAFT TO BE TURNED INTO A FINAL PRODUCT. WRITE AN ABSTRACT , PROOFREAD,ASSURE ACTIVE VOICE IS USED , REVISE ANY BIASES , ADD ANYTHING THAT MAKES THIS RESEARCH PAPER  BETTER OR STRONGER. ABOSLUTELY NO PLAIGIARISM. ESSAY HAS BEEN RAN THROUGH TURNITIN AND HAS 5% PLAIGIRISM (DUE TO RESOURCES) AND I WANT TO KEEP IT THAT WAY. PROFESSOR COMMENTS ATTACHED TO ESSAY